worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
