There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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