Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
