i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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