i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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