At least make sure they are 18
Why
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He has the fingertips of a God
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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