Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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