fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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