i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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