you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Enjoy the penises
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
