I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
