Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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