you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
