Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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