remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize