everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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