Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize