Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
