belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
