Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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