I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
