I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
