I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
