i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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