Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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