I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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