I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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