So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
