Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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