careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
