I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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