I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
