Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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