There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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