my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Of course I have a pirate flag
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize