Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
