True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
