i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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