HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
