just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
