New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
