And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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