just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
BRING THE BAGELS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
