Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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