He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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