He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a search helicopter?!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize