She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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