I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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