as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
