Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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