So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
