physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize