I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
