I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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