Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize