You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
