I'm eating all of the evidence.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize