I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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