Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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