I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
