That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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