Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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