Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize