dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
