loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
