wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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