I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
