If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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