Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
