Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
