Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
