Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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