Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
