where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
